Divorce is a horrible thing that has touched virtually each and every one of us in one way or another. Its appalling that our marriages fail at a rate of 50%! Whether it’s our parents – our own marriages – our children – or our friends – we all have witnessed the terrible destruction that is eating away at our lives called divorce. I want to look at some scriptures in an effort to bring understanding to this problem.
Matthew 19:3-12 Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”
“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from tI tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, n for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
I am so excited – there is so much here in this passage that it’s almost too much to grasp…
First we see that the Pharisees came and challenged Jesus with the fact that Moses allowed a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason… and we Jesus responds that Moses wrote that because their hearts were hard… Our divorce rates show us that the love is growing cold – even among Christians.
Matthew 24:10-13 says – At that time (meaning the end times) many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved.
Ok – stop right there a second… first of all – most Christians believe these are the end times… and we can clearly see the turning away from the way of Jesus and the hatred, and the lack of love, among the so-Christians due to the wickedness. Seriously – think of the things that break up marriages – the love of money – pornography – lust and adultery – physical, psychological, and emotional abuse – selfishness – pride – all the wickedness that makes people say – I can’t be with him anymore because he does this – or I can’t stay married to her because she did that… they cuss at each other – and throw hateful hurtful words at each other – ripping through the very person God has put in their lives as a partner as if they were a deadly enemy – there is no humility or humbleness – there is no seeking of God in the hard times – its all a battle about the self – and not the family that God has blessed people with… we are still in the ‘me’ generation! How can we survive this age? How can we save our marriages and families? We must stand firm in Christ – making Him number one – before husbands or wives – before our children – and more than anything else – more than ourselves.
Next, notice the clear definition of marriage given by Jesus in Matthew 19 – a man leaves his mother and father – male and female – the only kind of couple able to have children – and that man is to be united with his wife – again male and female – and the two become one flesh! man and man – or woman and woman – cannot produce life – still another indicator of the definition of marriage…
There can be no doubt in that statement that marriage is between a man and a women yet the homosexual agenda is one that is slowly but surely eroding the very definition of marriage… this erosion of the definition of marriage is working against the value and commitment people have concerning marriage. It is no longer a sacred God given institution between a man and a woman to be valued – but instead – its becoming little more than a contract that can be broken for any and every reason in the eyes of the world – any and every reason – the same reason Moses wrote what he did to the Jews concerning divorce.
Another thing that seems obvious to me is that since man and woman become one flesh in marriage – they are a new creation – a precious life-form all their own – united by the will of God. Divorce is like murder in that it destroys that life.
Many times I hear people say it was a mistake to get married and for that reason they will divorce in order to make things ‘right’ – but that is a terrible lie from Hell itself… saying that you made a mistake so you’re going to get a divorce – thus killing this new creation of two becoming one – is like a man who impregnates a woman – and he says is going to take care of it – make it right – but then finances to have the baby aborted… to fix it and make it right – he would have to come along side that woman and raise his child in the ways of the Lord – killing the baby doesn’t make it right it makes it worse… so destroying a marriage because it was a mistake to get married is the same thing.
Even if you feel like you don’t love your spouse – as a Christian – you are called to make your marriage work – put Jesus first – be selfless – submit yourself to the fact that you are living with the consequences of your own choices which came under the will of God who has a purpose for putting you were you are today. Put Jesus first and all other things will follow – even the healing and restoration of your marriage.
There are really only three ways out of a marriage that I know of as a Christian…
the first way out would be the death of one’s spouse – and I don’t mean the murder of a spouse – but the natural passing of the spouse…
the second way out is if your spouse is an unbeliever and he or she wants to leave…
1 Corinthians 7:10-16 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
Notice – we can’t kick an unbelieving spouse out – for our testimony and witness might yet save an unbelieving spouse – but if they want to leave we are free from them as we are called to peace as Children of God.
The final way out of a marriage is found back in Matthew 19 verse 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
In other words – we can divorce if we are cheated on… there is no other acceptable reason given in the scriptures!
What about cases of abuse? I don’t know. I would assume God would allow for a divorce in extreme cases, but that is my assumption and it is unsupported by any scripture that I am aware of. We are basically called to endure to the end. If anything – a rocky marriage could be a wonderful way to prove to the Lord how willing we are to be obedient to His Way.
Are you a Christian and troubled by the reality of what I’ve written here? As troubling as it is for us to swallow at times – the Gospel is not always something that settles well with the worldly and sinful nature of men… the real question comes down to this – are you going to obey God – or are you going to rebel against the Lord? Will you embrace His blessings – or bring on His wrath?
These are just some thoughts I’ve had recently while praying and reading up on divorce… there is surely more to be said and more to be learned – so I welcome you all to add your thoughts and comments to this post so that we can learn together.
Biblical Divorce
Divorce is a horrible thing that has touched virtually each and every one of us in one way or another. Its appalling that our marriages fail at a rate of 50%! Whether it’s our parents – our own marriages – our children – or our friends – we all have witnessed the terrible destruction that is eating away at our lives called divorce. I want to look at some scriptures in an effort to bring understanding to this problem.
Matthew 19:3-12 Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”
“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from tI tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, n for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
I am so excited – there is so much here in this passage that it’s almost too much to grasp…
First we see that the Pharisees came and challenged Jesus with the fact that Moses allowed a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason… and we Jesus responds that Moses wrote that because their hearts were hard… Our divorce rates show us that the love is growing cold – even among Christians.
Matthew 24:10-13 says – At that time (meaning the end times) many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved.
Ok – stop right there a second… first of all – most Christians believe these are the end times… and we can clearly see the turning away from the way of Jesus and the hatred, and the lack of love, among the so-Christians due to the wickedness. Seriously – think of the things that break up marriages – the love of money – pornography – lust and adultery – physical, psychological, and emotional abuse – selfishness – pride – all the wickedness that makes people say – I can’t be with him anymore because he does this – or I can’t stay married to her because she did that… they cuss at each other – and throw hateful hurtful words at each other – ripping through the very person God has put in their lives as a partner as if they were a deadly enemy – there is no humility or humbleness – there is no seeking of God in the hard times – its all a battle about the self – and not the family that God has blessed people with… we are still in the ‘me’ generation! How can we survive this age? How can we save our marriages and families? We must stand firm in Christ – making Him number one – before husbands or wives – before our children – and more than anything else – more than ourselves.
Next, notice the clear definition of marriage given by Jesus in Matthew 19 – a man leaves his mother and father – male and female – the only kind of couple able to have children – and that man is to be united with his wife – again male and female – and the two become one flesh! man and man – or woman and woman – cannot produce life – still another indicator of the definition of marriage…
There can be no doubt in that statement that marriage is between a man and a women yet the homosexual agenda is one that is slowly but surely eroding the very definition of marriage… this erosion of the definition of marriage is working against the value and commitment people have concerning marriage. It is no longer a sacred God given institution between a man and a woman to be valued – but instead – its becoming little more than a contract that can be broken for any and every reason in the eyes of the world – any and every reason – the same reason Moses wrote what he did to the Jews concerning divorce.
Another thing that seems obvious to me is that since man and woman become one flesh in marriage – they are a new creation – a precious life-form all their own – united by the will of God. Divorce is like murder in that it destroys that life.
Many times I hear people say it was a mistake to get married and for that reason they will divorce in order to make things ‘right’ – but that is a terrible lie from Hell itself… saying that you made a mistake so you’re going to get a divorce – thus killing this new creation of two becoming one – is like a man who impregnates a woman – and he says is going to take care of it – make it right – but then finances to have the baby aborted… to fix it and make it right – he would have to come along side that woman and raise his child in the ways of the Lord – killing the baby doesn’t make it right it makes it worse… so destroying a marriage because it was a mistake to get married is the same thing.
Even if you feel like you don’t love your spouse – as a Christian – you are called to make your marriage work – put Jesus first – be selfless – submit yourself to the fact that you are living with the consequences of your own choices which came under the will of God who has a purpose for putting you were you are today. Put Jesus first and all other things will follow – even the healing and restoration of your marriage.
There are really only three ways out of a marriage that I know of as a Christian…
the first way out would be the death of one’s spouse – and I don’t mean the murder of a spouse – but the natural passing of the spouse…
the second way out is if your spouse is an unbeliever and he or she wants to leave…
1 Corinthians 7:10-16 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
Notice – we can’t kick an unbelieving spouse out – for our testimony and witness might yet save an unbelieving spouse – but if they want to leave we are free from them as we are called to peace as Children of God.
The final way out of a marriage is found back in Matthew 19 verse 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
In other words – we can divorce if we are cheated on… there is no other acceptable reason given in the scriptures!
What about cases of abuse? I don’t know. I would assume God would allow for a divorce in extreme cases, but that is my assumption and it is unsupported by any scripture that I am aware of. We are basically called to endure to the end. If anything – a rocky marriage could be a wonderful way to prove to the Lord how willing we are to be obedient to His Way.
Are you a Christian and troubled by the reality of what I’ve written here? As troubling as it is for us to swallow at times – the Gospel is not always something that settles well with the worldly and sinful nature of men… the real question comes down to this – are you going to obey God – or are you going to rebel against the Lord? Will you embrace His blessings – or bring on His wrath?
These are just some thoughts I’ve had recently while praying and reading up on divorce… there is surely more to be said and more to be learned – so I welcome you all to add your thoughts and comments to this post so that we can learn together.
This entry was posted on November 21, 2009, 2:00 pm and is filed under Bible Study, Commentaries. You can follow any responses to this entry through RSS 2.0. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.